Know the surrealness of all this is probably creeping in right now with you thinking I'm watching him right now And he's dead, you know today's April 4th 2017 and I have just over five months to live It's looking like September 7th is gonna be the day the night rather and Here I am recording on video for one of the last times and And I thought I'd sit here today and talk about EGS while I can to answer some questions That will probably forever go unanswered if I don't do it now So yeah, I just thought I would sit here and talk for an hour or so on video Instead of the audio recordings because you won't get to see me anymore And this will be one of the last visuals you'll have of me, you know I don't post like my face on social media much anymore because this isn't who I am, you know I'm Andrew blaze. I'm not this here. I'm that I'm not this, you know, I can't emphasize that enough and Over the last few years. I just hated looking at myself and it's cuz it's not me, you know I didn't just wake up one day and realize that this is who I am, you know It just didn't happen like that. It gradually happened over time Over a span of a round I would say seven to eight years As for how EGS got started it goes back to Middle school where I used to do Timmy Turner and Danny Phantom look like comic drawings in my school notebooks Back in middle school you had to get these books to read which were called accelerated reader books And you would take tests on them So there were books that were on a level high enough to You know test your mental reading ability, I guess and you would get points for it and all that But you only had to read to a quarter. I say only loosely, you know, it's a lot to read But when I wasn't reading I would doodle and I had no idea that this would eventually lead to EGS You know ten years later. I just it was never a thought and It's just crazy. It was like, you know six to seven years after that boom I was drawing cartoons and flash at the time when I was going into ninth grade. I had a stack of papers that was Literally like almost higher than this viewfinder can go it was huge and I burned them all because I was an idiot But it was just taking up space in my closet. So I'm like I need to get rid of stuff So I burned my comics, which I really wish I didn't do But it's what happens you get rid of stuff throughout your life and it's gone forever That's that but you hold on to it in your mind. It's never truly gone forever But either way when I got into ninth grade, that's when I started getting into YouTube And I've made a whole documentary talking about my Pioneers Productions channel and all that so you can watch that if you want in your spare time It's also included in these zip files that you're watching now called the Pioneers Productions anthology Which covers pretty much everything from 2008 all the way through midway through 2014 and Obviously you have other making up videos that I've made since then which could have just been added on to the anthology But unfortunately, I don't have the project XML file anymore because I never knew you could do that until a year and a half ago So all my projects that I've edited and final cut are gone forever I can never get them back and unfortunately the anthology was one of them So, you know a 90 minute documentary gone. So the mastered file is what it is So what you have with these zip files is the official mastered file. It's a DVD quality. It's lossless quality almost So it's the best you can get Anyways watch that if you'd like to learn more about my videos from 2008 to 2014 and you know, etc so in 2015 was when I started doing the EGS stuff In terms of just doing cartoons, but it was a long haul just to get to that point one of the biggest questions probably is how did EGS even start and It goes back to those doodles I mentioned that was the very very start of it But it can even go back farther beyond that It just depends how you look at it because throughout my entire life I always envisioned the afterlife as being this magical place where you can Do like whatever you want it and be whoever you want it and you know Just be happy and be around things that you like and not have to worry about any bullshit that you deal here on earth and You know pretty much since you're a kid you think about things once in a while not all the time But you think from time to time. What is it like to die? You know, it's a question you ask yourself throughout your entire life. What is it like to die and You know depending who you're surrounded by You more likely than not will deal with a relative passing away Who's obviously most likely gonna be anywhere between the ages of 50 and 80 plus, you know, so When I was a kid I dealt with some deaths, but they were just with people who I didn't know much You know when I'm like six to nine years old and you know a great aunt passes away You know, it's like I didn't really know who they were so it like wasn't really sad But still I felt the feels, you know from the funeral and the viewings and all that But I didn't really see a dead body until middle school. It took that long I would like to say it was 2005 was the first time I saw a dead corpse and It just stuck with me just that the thought of just being gone, you know, you're not in this body anymore your soul's gone I made a recording the other day talking about it was like a week ago talking about, you know What I think the meaning of life is and saying everyone has a soul and all this and you know, you can listen to that I won't repeat everything, but you know, it's just it's weird just thinking like that. That's just an empty An empty body. There's no soul in it. There's no life in it. It's dead, you know And it's like where did they go? Where did the soul go and you know, people have their own beliefs on everything And it's just that's what it will be for you in the end what you believe what your faith is. That's where you're gonna end up You know, if you're a Christian Catholic Christian if you're Methodist if you're Lutheran if you're Muslim or something, I mean it doesn't matter what it is. That's what your afterlife is gonna be So it's like your mind saying that this is where I was and these are who my leaders are on the other side And I'm here to accomplish something and I was sent here from them I was assigned a contract saying this is what was gonna be expected of me And this is what was gonna happen and this is how I'm gonna die okay, so Yeah, 2005 was the first pretty much death that I saw that I deal with you know that I actually got to see the course because My great aunt passed away before and it was actually that's who it was his mother Who died the year before that but there was no viewing I Don't remember why but there just wasn't one but she was the first death that I actually like legit dealt with But I just I didn't know her much, but yeah, I was at the funeral and I got teary-eyed because you're you're seeing all these prayer songs and everything and you know He will raise you up on Eagles wings And it just it stuck with me to this day. I still remember that song, but I can't remember all the words But you know, I stuck it's just it stuck with me Okay, and the following year in 2005 her son died and that was the first body I saw the following year in 2006 My grandfather died and that was the first death that just touched close to home for me Even though I spent my entire childhood around my grandmother instead of my grandfather It made me realize like What you have, you know, you realize what you have and sometimes you don't realize what you have until it's gone and when he died it was like the first time I ever saw like someone like Being unconscious or being in a coma and dealing with cancer and stuff like that Which you know, he died in his house He had this big bed in the living room and he was just hooked up to these machines and everything and was just breathing like really heavily and He was just unconscious and it just happened like that You know one day he was talking and everything and the next day he was gone It was St. Patrick's Day when he died and I just I'll never forget it I was at home watching fairly odd parents and it was very idle. I remember that episode And I just remember watching that and then my grandmother called and said that my parents better get down there because obviously he didn't have a lot of time left and sure enough he passed away that night and My dad obviously was very depressed after that totally changed him for a while and Honestly, it probably still affects him today I don't know because I fucking hate his guts and I wanted to fucking die But it was just the first death that really struck close to home like that for me And I got through it all The funeral I really came close to really Balling but I held it in My dad said he was proud of me for dealing with all this very well and all that But you know, it's just something you shouldn't have to deal with when you're that young but yeah, so That was the very start of like me thinking about death Occasionally, I'd like to say because that was in seventh grade You know seventh grade you're like 12 or 11 or something that you're still really young and You got your whole life ahead of you. You don't think about dying, you know, he's like I can do anything I want to be this or I'm gonna try to be this and you're just planning out your life. You're not thinking you're gonna die and As middle school pressed on I just I wanted to die. I didn't want to go to high school I just kept picturing myself trying to take my life somehow But I just I knew I wasn't gonna go through with it. There's no way you're not You're not likely to kill yourself when you're 11. I mean It just it doesn't happen that often like you'd expect But you know, I eventually got through high school but high school is where Everything began the seed got planted in seventh grade It started to grow underground in high school, but it was out of high school when it started to bloom Ninth grade wasn't too bad once I got into high school and got into the routine of it all and adjusted to it You know, I was okay. I'm like high school is not that bad Still I didn't want to be in school anymore. I wanted to drop out terribly But I knew nobody would let me do it and I had to get a high school degree So I got through ninth grade without really any trouble I mean, obviously I started learning the responsibility of studying and doing well on your tests and everything because this is when it really starts to count You know when you're gonna start looking at colleges and they're gonna be looking at your grades and everything and I just had no clue What I wanted to do. I mean, I loved the video camera and everything but I'm still tossing back and forth in my head what it was I really wanted to do and You know over the years that started to creep back into my mind But tenth grade and eleventh grade were the big speed bumps in my life Because this is when I started doing that on tests, you know The exams the tests the quizzes I got poor grades and these tests had to be signed by my parents So I couldn't just lie and say I was doing okay. I had these I had C's I was borderline failing classes and It just it was a really bad time for me in high school I had to get tutored for my math class because I failed the first half of it I never ever up till that point in tenth grade failed a class Fortunately the class is split in half so between the first two marking periods So a semester in college terms and I had a 64 percent for the first half That's an F the second half I had a 74 Which the second half was a lot easier compared to the first half, but I say the tutoring helped a little bit But still that still made me feel extremely pressured, you know, and now it's like great Well now if I keep doing bad what's gonna happen and then every fucking test that comes up You have the fear of failure and I just started going in those darker places I see like all these people, you know in movies or on TV shows and everything It's like why can't I be these people right now? Why can't I have like Why can't I just not why can I not take tests? Why can I? Why can't I just get out of school? You know, I just don't want to do this anymore I'm looking at people on social media that are in college now It's like well these people already went through this and they're done with it and they never have to do it again I just wish I could just throw everything out the window and just stop, you know and Throughout the rest of the year. It was still borderline season D's. I didn't get really any A's in 10th grade it was a really rough year and this was during the time when something started to change with me which is also when you start going through puberty and stuff and I had a very high voice throughout most of my life and in 10th I would say the very end of 10th grade is when it finally started to get a little deeper But was I was also weird was I Found myself wearing women's clothing from my mom's closet And I just loved it and I couldn't explain the feeling it just felt It just felt like right in a way It's very hard to explain But it wasn't like I was gay because I knew I didn't like guys I never was attracted to guys I was always attracted to girls in high school I would always be looking at their legs or at their chest at their hair at their eyes at their crotch You know what you do as a guy, but I Was just envision myself being one of them and I was just never as Like my high school years went on I Just felt more and more lost like I had no clue what I was but I knew flat out that I wasn't gay I fucking hate guys. I hate the facial hair. They have I hate their crotch is I hate The way their body structure is I hate them being really muscular inject You know, I just always hated guys. I was never into guys They just disgust me and they really do honestly guys are just the most disgusting thing on this planet and I Just was thinking it's like well, what the hell am I and I didn't really research what? genders people could be and all this stuff and It was just I didn't know what I was but I just kept going back to girls and wanting to wear women's clothing I mean it wasn't like a transvestite thing where you're a guy fantasizing about being a woman and just wearing the clothes and all that it was much deeper than that and It wasn't until once I got out of college that I really started to realize who I was it took a long time You know, it took me all the way through grade school through college to even realize this So, you know people out there that were struggling and trying to figure out who they are You'll eventually discover it. It just might not happen right away Some people discover it at a very young age. It's like I was always great at doing this I was always great at playing instruments. I was always great at building things or a woodshop or You know, I was always great at fixing things or I was always great at you know helping people You know, I was always great at lifting heavy things and all this and you could put two and two together and then you start realizing Hey, you know, I could be a craftsman or a construction worker or a firefighter or a computer technician You know all this stuff that you do throughout your life You might just realize right then and there what your talent is and this is what your life's gonna be and you never ever really look back For me It was a million different things mixed into one and that was a problem because I had no fucking clue what I wanted to do with my life Because in middle school was when it really started to get like legit Into the thought of what I wanted to do and I was always great at writing stuff I love to write back when you actually didn't have to use laptops and computers for everything We would write our essays on paper. We would write stories on paper for writing class You know like a narrative story and all that and I just loved writing and one thing that always stood out to me was All of my stories almost all of them would end with the person dying at the end So that's a little bit of a red flag right there for everyone in the future trying to prevent people from killing themselves You might want to take a few notes on that but that's where the writing started and In middle school. I also was walking around with the video camera as well So, you know, the two had to become one and obviously I was very fond of the computer so It was in middle school where that started and I must have wrote like four or five stories where the character got killed at the end and I actually turned these in as assignments and I never got like any like Weird looks from the teacher or anything. She was a nice teacher and everything really great But she never like felt concerned about that. I guess she just figured no, you know an overactive imagination He's a middle schooler. So what you know, it's better than writing shit, you know so Yeah, like one story was about a kid who was exploring space the Synopsis was you had to write a story about a guy who woke up or a girl who woke up You know, I just got out of his chair and opened his bedroom door and saw something on the other side So what I wrote was he opened the door and saw the solar system because I was fascinated with space I love the planets. I love the stars and all that I still do still fascinates me But I just wrote it so he opened his door and saw the entire Galaxy and solar system outside his bedroom door He hopped on a spaceship and then started visiting every single planet So this story turned out to be like ten pages long So I think I got deducted points for that But I had to you know, I described exactly every single planet How it was because I was obsessed with the planets and solar system in middle school So I got overly descriptive with stuff and in the very end after he got to Pluto He started going back to Earth and then he burned up on reentry like the space shuttle, Columbia. So little inspiration there So yeah, the teacher never like felt concerned or anything I just remember not getting any feedback in terms of that So I don't know what she was thinking but yeah, and it wasn't just writing assignments. I would just write in general I would write ten page stories if that just in a notebook, which is long gone I don't have it now, but it would just always really end It would always usually end with a guy dying at the end so being a writer was a thought and I just envisioned myself writing stories, which it didn't last too long by time I got to high school I was into the video camera and It was all about you know filming for news stations or Documentaries or something, but I had no idea but I just wanted to do movies That's what I knew I wanted to do but I just I never pictured me actually being able to do it and It's just it was in the back of my mind just I should just get something with a Degree with something you could do with a video camera So 11th grade starts and that's when the darkness started to creep into my life a little bit more Yeah, it was there with the fear of failure and tests and all that But this is when it started to grow a little bit more and 11th grade Was when they start pressuring you in school through your guidance counselors to start planning for college and looking at colleges and all this And this is when I really started to just hate everything about school. I didn't want to go to school anymore I didn't want to try on the tests anymore. I had been study like I used to and you know My grades were obviously affected by that and I were getting some bad history grades Science grades obviously that was one area. I always struggled in was history science and math Which is you know the bulk of your education? But you know school it just I never felt like school was ever felt I just I never felt like school is ever for me the more I went the more I just stopped caring and I just Fled out didn't care about school. I did Enough to get by You know you have some concern on the side of that from the teachers and all that but I did enough to get by To be average, you know But it was obviously affecting my parents and they were lecturing me constantly about how important it is to get good grades and Being able to get a decent job and all this and it just it just kept getting darker in my head This is when I started getting into ember and This was way back when that low quality version was still all you had It wasn't until 2014 when that HD version finally surfaced on the internet So this was back around 2009 2010 and The summer of 2010 was when the ember thing started So I just remember just it was just something about how she looked Like we all say like yeah, like we all kind of matured a little when we first saw her but it was just it it just looked familiar and At the time Danny Phantom had been around for you know a good six years So I kind of remember vaguely seeing that character back in like 2006 But it just it felt like so much more at home for me now it just seemed like so much more than just being familiar with her and And it's just very hard to explain. I just could not stop playing the track I just played the living hell out of that song and I just kept envisioning Setting myself on fire and it's what I really considered doing my parents went away for a cruise And I'm like alright, I'll do it then I'll set myself on fire by pouring gasoline on me and letting a match Which I'm really glad I never did because that's not gonna really kill you It's just gonna leave you badly burned for the rest of your life and beyond repair So I want to know how many people actually killed themselves by just pouring gasoline on them and setting themselves on fire It's really not likely to kill you But it's just that was around the time I got a job too and you know the that's one thing I also didn't really mention is all the the stress of trying to find a part-time job and not wanting to work and all that and It got much worse later down the road But at that time I got hired at McDonald's after trying like 20 places because I wasn't even 18 yet So some places you need to be 18 after trying like 15 to 20 places McDonald's was the only one that called and I applied there twice so I Did the basic training for three hours on the first day and then I quit which Devastated my parents. My dad was just furious my mom Took it better than he did but I just couldn't even look at him after that and that's when the hatred for him started It was from pretty much that day fourth And while it goes back to the 10th grade high school grades situation That's when that first legit started, but the job thing just you know capped it off but Yeah, so it was just Everything around me was just dark and that's when he started lecturing me You know you have no friends you don't hang out with anybody you don't go anywhere You don't do anything you just sit in your room on the computer all day on day and that's all you do and Inside I'm thinking this is what I like to do. You know, this is who I am if you don't like it fuck off and Of course, I didn't say anything like that. I just was just laying on my bed He was sitting on the chair here and just giving me a big like 15 minute lecture You know the lights were dimmed in here and it was just that typical parenting shit that you hate as a teenager and From that point forward I never looked at him the same way again. I hated his guts. I Tried being nice around him, but you know, he'd be moody with his job and it just from that point forward I just hated his fucking guts and It only got worse from then on yet He probably sees me as not thinking much of him nowadays, but he'd probably be shocked hearing what I'm saying about him now But my brother connected with him well that filled that void. I connected with my mother well so The relationships in the house just became me and mom Jeremy dad that's what it was Because my mom I always felt like I could tell anything my dad I Couldn't I just I couldn't talk to him about stuff He just wasn't that type of person to me my mom was and you always had that you know the mother daughter or the mother son connection but It's just my mother was so much more understanding so much easier to talk with and Wouldn't freak out on you if you did something really bad like It just feel like you'd get through it. It's just she was just easier to talk with and My dad it was just like talking to a fucking mentor or like a high school counselor or like a fucking boss and it just wasn't right and Honestly, I can't tell you like the last time I really like Like gave him my two cents on things or like how I'm feeling or why I'm doing what I'm doing or just like why I am How I am I just I never did I never got into a conversation about that Like there would be times where me and my brother and dad would be around the the bonfire in the backyard drinking Beer or whatever and we kind of get into like weird talks But I just I never got into that with myself just because I didn't give a shit because I knew he wasn't gonna Be able to Help me in any way because he would just see it as me just being a depressed teenager or you know young adult like I am now and Would just try to steer me in the right direction for my life and get me to move out of the house and hold a stable job and all Listen all the while I'm thinking back in 2013 2012 that I'm gonna be killing myself in a few years. I knew pretty much back in 2012 that in a few years I would be dead and I just didn't know how many years it would be 2014 was like intended to be the last big year for me on YouTube and it was when you look at it Because I made so many videos saying I'm probably only gonna be doing YouTube videos for at least another year so that was me nonchalantly saying I'm gonna be dead shortly after that and 2017 it seems like way out there like I thought by 2016 I would have been dead I didn't think there was any way I was gonna still be alive and That's why I started putting all these death references in my videos in 2014 and 2013 to start to get darker and Just it's it just slowly Started to decline from the comedy and go into the darker stuff 2013 by the end of it was When it just took off The figure in black series was gonna be the next big thing with my channel at that time Which was all gonna be based on paranormal demonic stuff. It was all gonna be dark content, you know, so By the end of summer that was it Comedy was done. I was just done with that So yeah, I got that my dad wanted me to be successful But I just was never meant to be on this earth Longer than 20 some years. It's just that's how it is. That's how it was written up. That's just how it is tough shit and You know, you have that thought process throughout your mind all throughout your life It's like, you know, I'm gonna be dead in a few years It really doesn't matter what I do, you know, sure I can get a job But for what purpose, you know in a couple years, I'll be dead and You know 11th grade was 11th grade was when I really had to start being a little bit more open and vocal because that's when they start pressuring you for Colleges and everything and you need to be vocal and Express your interests and things and what you don't like and where you want to go and what you're comfortable with and just Where you want to go with your life and that's what I really hated I always kept everything inside, but I would just you know Creatively turn that into my YouTube stuff, you know It really shows if you watch my older YouTube stuff the old 2008 to 2010 stuff was really stuff made without a care in the world. There wasn't anything weighing me down Even the first video I made that references that reference me having a job But which I think was fuck the world or fuck life I changed the title a couple times, but I'm like I got employed Shit, you know, but I still was like carefree about it all it didn't seem to really bother me too much and It was in 2013 that everything tanked Which I'll get too soon. It's all EGS related everything. I'm telling you is EGS related It's just everything happened during this time span So from 11th through 12th grade, that's when the darkness of the world was setting in that, you know You're gonna be out of this high school in a couple years and then eventually a couple months and then a few weeks And then you're graduated and you're done and then that real-world shit creeps into your life And it's like what am I gonna do with my life? Where am I gonna go and I just kept pushing it back and back and back and back So I kept like avoiding it, you know, cuz my first year of college was all general studies classes I went to Luzern County Community College to save money and I just took my general core classes there for a year and I used that as an excuse to be like alright. Well by the end of that I should know what I'm gonna do and The general idea was take my core classes there and then transfer it to a university like Bloomsburg University or a Misercordia to take my major classes when in reality it didn't matter because LCC Luzern County Luzern County Community College had a decent broadcast program Which is what I ended up doing so I took it at LCC So I stayed at that campus for the next two years until I was done. So, you know, I went to college for three years and That was just that was the only thing I can think to do because Like I'm saying I knew full well, I knew full well. I was gonna be dead And that's just what made the most sense and all the while I'm thinking, you know, I'm gonna be dead in a few years It doesn't matter What I do, I don't necessarily have to use the degree for anything But it just made the most sense. It was it was close to home, you know, it was like a 20 minute drive It was shooting stuff on video and writing scripts and all this and stuff that I was good at and that I was familiar with So I took the broadcast program And I made a whole other recording talking about all the shit that happened with the people I got stuck working with or the instructors I've had And it's just it all contributed to EGS, you know, Matt Murray died Tom Lynch died That really was the first Like glimpse into the ghost squad stuff If you look back 2013 was when I got word that Matt died. It was January of 2013 Two months after that in March was when I got into Ember and never got out of her March 2013 was when I made the black ops 2 emblem of Ember McLean for Xbox and I ended up using it everywhere from then on out There were these silhouette arts that I made where you can't see the face But you can see the border of the hair and the face and the body and that ended up being the recruiter ghosts And at the time I had no idea So before you knew it Ember was appearing everywhere on my YouTube channel pioneers productions It was the profile picture. It was in the end screen. It was on my Twitter on my Facebook in my gaming videos She was everywhere And it didn't really make too many people question why which I don't know why it took a while But then once I started showing her in the the EGS prologue series That's when things started to be questioned by people But 2013 was the ultimate staple in EGS This was when all this stuff happened to me in about a four-month span of time I can't remember exactly everything that happened, but 2013 I'm always superstitious about the number 13. I never liked the number 13. I always thought I was unlucky and I just I was superstitious about it. Okay, and What happens second week of January? 2013 Got word that Matt died About 10 days after that my great-grandfather died Okay About a week and a half two weeks after that. I told of my car Ten days after I told of my car my brother told his car 7400 some dollars between both cars of damage so That was a lot in that amount of span on top of that the well pump in our yard broke and About six feet of our yard collapsed and caved in and we were flooding our basement That was like mid-January 2013 so all of that happened within a few months and There were quite a few other little stupid subtle things that happened I can't remember everything but just one thing kept leading to another to another to another into another and In March was when I got into ember and then it just it just felt It just felt More than familiar that's all I can say I just kept looking at her and it's like she got it She understood me. I understood her. We had feelings for each other and It just it was way more than just a simple connection it was life-changing and this is just a static 2d flattened image on a screen, you know and I I Just I went into a zone that I had never really been in before Nothing seemed to matter It was just like a Magical dark place and it was a dark place. It wasn't happy sunshine rainbow stuff. It was a dark and depressing place and Ember just I felt like I could trust her. I felt like we had known each other before and I Just felt like I Could have been her in a way It's very hard to explain but even just like her body type all that just felt familiar and That got me She was one of the original reasons I got into cross-dressing back in early high school was when I Would occasionally look up ember remember, you know ember mclean remember on YouTube or on butch Hartman's website, you know and just looking at how she looked and everything and it just It made me want to dress up like her But of course I don't have anything remotely close to that But I ended up going into my mom's closet and putting on her bras or her tops or her jeans or whatever and just wearing girl clothes and it just felt right and It all goes back to ember in a way and Just like that black top You know my mom had a bra that looked somewhat similar to that and I would put it on I would you know Like look in the mirror and pretend I was singing into a microphone or playing the guitar, you know And my skin was really really pale white so it looked somewhat close to ember And it's just that's where that all started ember started that whole shebang for me pretty much and That carried its way all the way into Late college with wearing my mom's clothes once in a while. I Eventually bought my own stuff So once I had a credit card and everything and goodbye online That's when I started shopping through American Eagle and airy whatever it's called And started buying stuff from there not a shitload but enough and That's what you ended up seeing in videos like abyss or the picture of me sitting on the bed next to the ember poster the Andrew blaze prologue series reboot attempt video that Ultimately just got turned into a compilation between me and Rachel on the EGS channel later down the road but That's it's all thanks to ember so I would just listen to that song constantly on repeat and just begging to hear the HD version of that song because that song is it's worse than bootleg quality almost is Downright bad the way that mix sounds is literally as if someone held like a cell phone up to a computer speaker and recorded it It's really bad So that thought of longing to have the HD version of song also made me want to continue to live You know because I wanted to hear it but Ember just just all it took was one look at her just one look Even if it was just a glance it took one look. That's all it took and I was hooked So my interest in school just tanked in 2013. I could not care less about school There was so many classes. I just skipped, you know, I still ended up passing pretty much everything But you know, I had my fair share classes I had to repeat that were the general studies classes before that but um in 2013 I was into my major classes, so there really weren't any general studies classes left to take So all I was really taking were my majors and I passed all those with at least a C or higher, so But just all the while when I'm in there, I'm just thinking about death and dying and ghosts and just Not wanting to be here anymore So the very first time I ever used Ember in any video had to be the gaming videos that I used to do I used to make gaming compilations back in 2013 on a channel called pioneers gaming or pioneers horror I ended up changing the name because I was rejected for ad revenue sharing or something. I can't really remember but So I would use her at the end of the video for the end screen You know gaming channels always have these big fancy end screens and everything so I would use ember and I had like the silhouettes the recruiters Pan across the screen at the end and I would have a song playing and all that and I Ended up using her in every single video and it kept getting used more and more and more throughout my YouTube career And I started using her so much that people started to question my fascination with her and they just didn't get it You had people I played with like David and Damian make me about 35 You know David will always constantly bust me about her and saying you know She's like my wife who and all that and I just I didn't care it didn't bother me really but All the while I'm still trying to figure out who I am and that's when people started poking fun at me for being gay a lot Just in a joking manner. They didn't really legit mean it on Xbox But like Alicia who was Damian's girlfriend at the time would always kind of bust me about that David would all the time Which I still think he's gay I don't know for sure, but something tells me he is and he just doesn't want to admit that but you know that that was constantly there and It got to the point where I didn't think that they really liked me at all But then I'm like, well, why do they keep asking me to play Xbox with them? Which turns out they did like me they actually cared about me and all that so but It was just it was something that kind of bugged me after a while because people saw me as being gay And it's like yeah, you don't have a girlfriend and you know, you don't really talk about sex much Or you know, you say you don't really watch porn which I kind of find impossible which at the time I'm like, I don't I don't watch pornography. I don't look up sex tapes or anything like that because I never did and Because David's like a big massive porn addict. He could tell you Anything about porn that you'd want pretty much you could name any kind of porn that you'd want there's a porn for everything and everything all that you know and I always hated when they would get into that kind of subject I always hated talking about penises or vaginas or sex or pornography and what turns me on and Eventually the one night we all started talking about our first time that we masturbated which was hilarious It just became a regular thing Almost like every other Wednesday when they would go to their bowling leagues I would dress up like that and it was either doing that or filming a YouTube video really wasn't anything else And yeah, so I was always uncomfortable talking about that kind of stuff and I'm obviously not gonna say Oh, well, you know when I'm alone I wear girl clothes, you know, you don't do that make them Question you even more So whenever that kind of stuff would come up I would just kind of try to ignore it or I would mute them or whatever But Damian never did that to me. It was always David or hobo or Alicia or Alicia's brother Mike, you know or Mike's friends and yeah I just I always hated that area and also these people are all older than me. I was the baby of the group I was like I was 20 borderline 21, which is still decent, you know by then everyone's pretty much had sex by then mostly and They're all in college out of college 23 24 25 Even 26, you know, they're all well older than I am and It's just I hated talking about that stuff and Still do honestly, but at this point in my life, what does it matter? It doesn't but it was just Amber was my girl Amber was my crush to I wanted to be with for my life pretty much and Yeah, I mean I would occasionally always look at girl not occasionally I'd always look at girls when I was at college or at high school and Just visualizing being them, you know But there was never a girl that I met that was like I'd kill to date her I'd kill to fuck her You know, I just never had that desire to be in a relationship which Always made people like question why I wasn't Dating anybody like my mom especially be like, you know, how come you you don't have there's no girls that you like girl this and That eventually led to in like 2016 asking if I was gay, which it took that long but It just it got so desperate for her in a way that they set me up They tried to set me up with the girl at a wedding back in 2015 when I filmed a One of my friends it was a family friends daughters wedding Which I barely remember even agreeing to do which I wish I honestly never did it in the first place But there was a girl there who was like, oh, she's so fucking nerdy Very quiet and she like oh, they'll be perfect for you and all this and it just they tried to set me up And it pissed me off Really did that's not how you do that. It's just you shouldn't do things like that to people And also just expecting it to work. It's just oh, I wanted to fucking crucify them for that and I just I talked with her for like I Didn't talk to her at all actually The guy who was the father of the girl getting wed Um Brought me over to her and just kind of said, you know I have a mission for you and all this and this is a girl who's like interested in videos too and all this and I think maybe You should talk and all this and I didn't really realize that that's what they were doing to me I'm like, well, yeah, but my brother actually knows more about the technical aspects of the video camera and all this just like completely clueless to what they were trying to do to me and then In the end when I started walking back to the table I just like turned to my mom and said like you're a fucking asshole or something like I I don't remember exactly what I said but She thought it was funny. I didn't think it was that funny It's like geez like they're really desperate for me to find a girl I like to go to that extreme to set me up at a wedding. It's like What the fuck? so that never ended up happening but It's even on the fucking what do the wedding footage somewhere Saying, you know that girl's still over there. I forget her name, but he was hinting at me You know, she's still over there, you know, like fucking go away So I don't want to cause a scene at his daughter's wedding. You know, this is a once in a lifetime chance and all this so I I just acted like it was no big deal, but I was fucking enraged It pissed me off So, yeah, I'm just I'm like this is just how I am. I'm fine being alone. That's always what I would just say I'm like, I'm not I'm not into relationships. I just I don't care to be in a relationship like on my live streams Sitting right here at the computer. That's what I would tell people would be like you have a girlfriend I'm like, no, are you gay? No, I'm like, I just don't like Relationships really never dated every never dated anybody never wanted to you know, and people just couldn't buy that and Yeah, I just I remember the first time hearing in like late middle school that people were dating I'm like, what the fuck like it just didn't seem right to me and Even in high school you hear people like okay, this they're together or they were fucking the other night or you know They're in a relationship. They're dating etc. Etc. Etc. Etc. I just I didn't care And then I started feeling pressured throughout high school like maybe I do need to date somebody but I just I Never did never went on a single date in my life 24 and a half years almost on this earth never been on a date Which some people probably are like pulling their hair out thinking why? but yeah, it's just it was never there and It's cuz I'm not from this world you have different attractions and you have different goals and different objectives and Being in a relationship was just never one of them so I Was asked out once Maybe twice, but it was the same girl But I was asked out once and it was really lame how she did it This was a girl that I hung out with at school not off school But at school in third grade at recess all the fucking time We were trying to find four leaf clovers on the knoll over there the grassy knoll and all this and we just Hang out on the playground and just talk and she kind of told me about sex back in third grade And she was the first person to ever tell me about that and I couldn't exactly remember everything she said But I just kind of was like okay. It's really weird and she would kind of talk about like you know girls are more flexible than guys That's why I can do stuff like this and like arts my back all the way and bring my head all the way under and all this and do Cartwheels and I still like tried like doing cartwheels in early elementary school because I thought they were cool I like doing cartwheels. I never was able to do them properly But yeah, so this girl in I think Midway through 11th grade asked me out. It was 10th or 11th. I can't remember but it was just before like Thanksgiving break She just walked up to me in lunch and then just put down like a sticky note or a paper or something Like I guess a folded up paper and she wrote on it You know like I know we don't talk very much or I can't remember exactly what she said I don't want to make a lie out of it But you know something like you know, I know we don't talk very much, but I've always liked you and would you ever consider dating me? If not, it's okay or something, but yeah, just throwing myself out there, you know and I obviously never Never dated her, but I don't I don't even know if I like said anything back after that But you know, she could have just asked me But yeah, it's just I'm like no because for one I didn't like how she looked just was not my type of a girl at all and Obviously by now, you know what my type of girl is and it's Mackenzie so but yeah, it just it never would have worked and I think she ended up dating one of like the big red necks in my grade so Yeah It's a big what if but I'm glad I never did it I think the last time I ever saw her Was the graduation lock-in because that's when they were doing the hypnosis thing and she was in the video which is funny So she's in one of my videos preserved for all time now But yeah, I just I never dated So this all ties into EGS in a way because it's all just the deep dark depths of the abyss of my mind and Just not giving a fuck about the world anymore. Once I got through college. I just I didn't want to get a job I didn't want to get a career. I just didn't want to have anything to do with this fucking world anymore and All I cared about was ember all I cared about was death ghosts funerals graves dark music Horror music, you know, it's just that's all I really cared about at that time and Obviously send requests helped me get out of that zone a little bit with their pop punk music But I was just in the darkest places I've ever been in my life and I've never gotten out of that Nor do I want to But I was still trying to figure out What my purpose was and in the way I felt like I had achieved that purpose is like maybe I was just sent here to make videos and then Learn from my mistakes Maybe a little bit and learn to overcome bad things in my life and help make a difference for people through my YouTube content Showing that you can do anything and in a way that that is part of it Showing that you can do anything, you know, look what I've managed to accomplish in Nine years of doing content, you know, you can do anything you want if you put the time and you have the passion and dedication to do it and I felt like that was really it and to this day. I still feel in terms of dealing with people that was really all I was really meant to do because It's one of those Typical stories of the nobody or the nerd in school making it big on the internet, which I was never really big But it got to the point where if I went to make me bad's live shows people would recognize me. So that was cool But then it was also you get some backlash for that people be like, oh, yeah, you're the guy who has the man crush on Damian You know, which wasn't true But it's just something you got to deal with when you do like three collabs and obviously people get jealous of you and obviously They get like over obsessive over you because you know Damian, you know, even though I only knew him through the internet But yeah, I just I just wanted to make a difference with people and to show that you can do whatever you wanted But then I started to realize what more I could do with that You know, I can show the world a whole new perspective on life with EGS later down the road. It's what I realized But I just started hiding stuff in my videos. I started hiding stuff in my videos because I wanted to show how I was really feeling without Really like just straight out coming out saying this is how I feel and If you noticed in 2014, that's when everything turned dark You had amnesia rape, which in a way was my fear of gay people in a way or the fear of Being accused as being gay or or just being raped by someone who's gay I was just I called it amnesia rape and The whole focus of it was the gay whale finally having his way with me you know, I was tied to a chair and couldn't move and he was fucking my ass and It's just one way of saying that but it was just it was dark it was the first like legit like dark disturbing video I'd ever done quite like that and And that led to the search for a member which was a big Insight into how I was feeling like I'm just laying around all the shots are depressing You have black and white shots the life looks like it was drained out of me in a few shots and I was gonna kill myself. That was like one of the first four shadowings of killing myself There was one before that in the crazy Christmas maniac video where there was a gun that I was holding and I tripped and Shot myself in the head on accident That's how the video ended There were obviously times in the past where I pretended to kill myself for things which I didn't actually like really mean it back Then is like symbolizing things, but around the time of the crazy Christmas maniac That's when I was legit serious about Ending my life within the next few years and that's when you started getting darker stuff in there. You started seeing guns you started Seeing ember, you know So the whole search for a member video was just basically saying I'm at the end of the line We're never gonna find this song. There's not much more point in me living on anyways There's not much more I can do and that was also during the time where I was like making videos saying I don't see what more I can really do I think in a year. I'll be done that was about I'd say like nine months after I made a video like that and search for a member was really lucky because Way, I wasn't really lucky because I just think it was destiny was part of the contract I signed that the track would surface and then that would lead to everything that it has now It wasn't just like a big stroke of luck was meant to happen and then you eventually saw a Lot of you probably know Although probably a lot of you don't know is I'm also a worthless toaster on YouTube That is the channel that has the ember video that has the most views and has the most discussions and everything and it got over 1.5 million views in a couple years as of April 4th 2017 that has pretty much 1.6 million views. It's the most viewed ember video on the internet. It's what Everybody goes to when they look up remember pretty much and that's the video that took off and somebody also uploaded a version that day That the song was found like an hour after I did I was the first one to upload it But people started reposting and mirroring the song, you know Just downloading the track and uploading it as their own and all that but mine was actually a music video But it was it wasn't the greatest edit of all time or anything But it was still cool because I've been making that edit for years throughout this whole ember thing like in 2013 and all that I made a bunch of different music videos for that song with the low quality track and then Uploaded that I'm worthless toaster and then it just took off. I could not believe it But at the same time I I knew it would happen You know this was a song that people died for for years and the video just started Cranking out views it didn't go viral right away And I don't consider it to be a viral video because viral is like something that happens like overspent of a few days or so And you get like a hundred thousand some views It was like twenty thousand at the end of the first week So that's not technically viral but later on I started to realize I can use this as a marketing tool for EGS So I started putting annotations on there and links for the channel in the video and that's how I've gotten some new subscribers I would think so yeah the ember thing wasn't just a fluke thing. It was in everything I did from that point on 2014 on everything was ember related Worthless toaster all you saw on there were ember videos Pioneers productions ember was in every video Since the search for a member that technically counts That was actually the ember mclean DVD footage from the episode the ember that was in extinction Resurrection absolution wasn't ember mclean. It was a recruit. I just called her ember flores at the time but It was a little that I know foreshadowing Mackenzie in a way That's pretty much how that came to be in my mind But at the time I just said it was ember because that's what she looked like she looked exactly like ember mclean You know that's who it was, but it wasn't But extinction was the first time you saw that black ops 2 model in a video was at the very end and that was like the big you know twist and at all and And everything From amnesia rape on throughout that entire year and these are rape was in January 2014 That and every video from that point forward was dark Yeah, search for a member was comedic at times, but it was still dark themed when you think about it Extinction followed the search for a member which was pretty much the most psychotic I'd ever been on film before I'm stabbing the frog and whale and killing them then I tore the tendon in my finger which led to three surgeries and it's still permanently stuck like this and You know she was in resurrection which was completely dark from start to finish like extinction was Absolution was pretty much just a feels video, but it was dark, but all these videos were dark and it's all ember related It was It was what led to the start of the EGS channel They all had something to offer in a way and these are rape was the comedic humor Search for a member was a combination of comedic humor and dark content extinction was just flat out dark Resurrection was story as well as dark content and Absolution brought the whole series full circle and it gave you the feels through it all But all these were all dark and really well written when you think about it That's when I started really using my writing skills was for that series Which I originally called it the EGS Prologue series. I eventually renamed it to the Pioneers Productions finale series So the finale series was what I considered to be Pretty much my best written work until the EGS tape stuff started That's when I think that my writing took off and you know, everything was much more surreal and Closer to home feeling for people so The EGS Prologue series I still consider it my best work on film, but nowadays I don't consider it really my best work But in a way it is nothing's really come close to that. I mean, yeah, it's me talking to and an Image of a character model that can barely move But it uh, it just gave you a full insight into my mind at that time Whether you realize it or not You know resurrection I'm talking about ending it all killing myself. It'd make me happier I'd be a ghost like you and I'd find true happiness, you know that dark scene in the car that still sticks with me and I did that scene so many times. I reshot it once and I must have done like 30 takes for that. It was ridiculous but Those videos when you pull them apart slowly one by one You start to get into my mind and see what I was feeling at that time and what I wanted to say to the world You know, I'm gonna kill myself in a few years, you know And just feeling lost No direction No idea where I was gonna go with my life It was all in those videos So once the EGS ProLux series wrapped up that was intended to be The end absolution was meant to be the last big video and then I got the idea to do maybe one more because I Just I felt like it was a shitty way to end it, you know I just shot myself in the head and that was it and I'm like that's really Weak, you know to go out like that So the next video I ended up writing ended up being curtain call And welcome to the squad. It was a double episode and that was the first official EGS video. That's when EGS technically started was in 2015 I was well out of my league with animation at that time I thought I could pull off everything and I could crank it out within like a couple months and it would look cool and I Started to realize this is a long process So, yeah Welcome to the squad was where I started throwing in all the EGS related stuff I start talking in voiceover about what the squad is about what they look for what it's like in that world and How hard it is to be in the ghost squad, you know, like they train you you go through all these things You know, just get recruited and exist, you know, you live for the rest of your Eternal existence in this world of trying to dominate the world in this army of ghosts and Discovering who you actually truly are and this was around the time where I did start to discover that, you know That's when you started to have the Andrew Blaze character start out and Andrew Blaze was myself from The prologue series the finale series it was technically it was meant to be the same character, but Throughout the prologue series. I'm called Randy, which is my legal born name, which I fucking hate and in 2015 was when I called myself Andrew and It wasn't until a year later that I started to take it seriously because 2015 into Late 2016 was when I discovered who I was it took that long, you know Wasn't just an overnight thing So in reality it took between like 2005 through 2016 took a long time to discover who I was and It's just EGS just started from all that dark stuff. I Just sat down and just lost myself. There's no really other way to put it I just loved being in that zone. I loved thinking about death dying Invisioning killing myself killing other people Just being free from this world and not having a care in the world to exist in peace and just acceptance and Accepting who I was and having people not give a shit, you know just being happy and I Couldn't do that in this body. It just wasn't possible it wasn't meant to be and It's just it's where I felt at home and I later learned that it's where my home is This has been my home for 24 years but It's time for me to move on to the next level Or rather move back to where I was At first I thought that that's where I was destined to go But the more I thought about it the more I realized that that's where I was before I was here I was already there. I'm just sent here on a mission, you know so it took a lot of time to discover myself it wasn't just an overnight thing and Nobody on earth Sees it my way because I can't tell you that stuff about me because then you'll start getting Concerned and then my parents could find out and then I could end up in a mental ward, you know and I'm not mentally insane. I'm not psychotic. I'm just me. I'm Andrew blaze. It's who I am and It's been insanely hard to not post on social media that these are the last five months You'll have to talk with me, you know five months from now. I'll be dead and then all these people who have watched me will have regrets or Have questions that might have never been answered, you know and just wanting to talk to me again or not being able to accept that I'm gone and It's just gonna happen like that I'll be here and then I'll be gone and I Don't know Some people I will feel sorry for you know like people like Nellie Simmons. I feel sorry for her because She felt like she could tell me anything really as for me with her I feel like I could tell her pretty much anything except this you know and Damian obviously I've felt even a bigger connection with now because he's into darker stuff now his videos really changed with his style and He makes a lot of like death references in his videos now or taking his life and everything I think he will eventually kill himself one day. I think he will or if not my death will help Him steer clear of that path. Who knows? But I can picture him taking his own life within the next like seven years. I could see it happening I couldn't way back then nowadays. Yeah, I could Because in a way, I feel like he's kind of like me where he's just lost. He has no direction. He doesn't know where he's gonna go and He just doesn't see any way out of it and especially not with YouTube like losing ad revenue and everything He's not getting enough views like he used to and eventually he probably won't be able to live off of that and he's probably Just in a whole other world right now So who knows? I mean, I doubt he'll ever watch this from start to finish, but you never know I've been wrong about things before but It's just all that over the last few years of my life just that teenage stress It was just so much more than just that. I just never felt like I belonged here never It's just once high school started that's when everything changed and and People will probably some people probably will never be able to accept what I did and It doesn't bother me. You think what you want you live your own life, you know, you're in control of what you do and how you feel usually Yeah, some things are predetermined a destined to happen, but you have your own opinions on things and You know, I did what I had to do. There wasn't any way around it. This was this is just the way I had to go And as brutal as it may have been for people to witness, you know, who had to You know deal with my corpse. It's It's life It's life There's nothing that anyone could have done to prevent this It was just destined to happen from the beginning and In 2010 I could have easily tried taking my life back then but I didn't And It's just it's crazy Five months, that's it It's a lengthy period of time, but it's not really so I Mean EGS it's so much more than just a cartoon. It's not a cartoon. It's life And it's what the afterlife is for some people like myself and And Surprisingly the support on it has been nothing sort of amazing. I expected to get thumbs down to oblivion on those videos I put out Especially like the videos with myself or Alex, you know male recruits talking through female bodies, you know, that's not what anybody in their right mind would do and People like it and that's great and I would hope to goddess that this spawns followers, you know Some of you whether you know it or not are destined to join that ghost squad when you die and It's just a matter of time for some of you Some of you might end up taking your own life. Some of you might get taken out by something you can't control car accident gunshots Explosions even you know, you don't know a Mental illness or a terminal illness, you know anything can happen to you and Generally the ghost squad recruits people ranged anywhere from age like 10 through mid to late 30s That's usually the cutoff point. I don't think there's really anyone in there. That's 40 or older from their mortal life that is So If you're over 40, then you've pretty much surpassed You know the qualification limit You're not qualified for the ghost squad. That's how I see it. It's all young souls And That's where I fall I fall into that category really well I'm 24 still very very young And people look back on it like you know, Andrew threw his whole life away. He had An insane amount of opportunities he could have had He could have eventually got that show to Be made by animators around the world for a youtube series, you know, he could have made some money off of it or he could have gone on to bigger and better things from this and the truth of it all is I don't care how popular it gets it will never prevent me from leaving here And that's how it is And also the fact of the matter is what it's based off of is a copyrighted character by nick alonean. So I would never be able to sell merchandise or Really make any sort of profit besides the youtube monetization, which really isn't much so I still believe that this can become something someday. I could see people making a movie off of this someday documentaries and At the same time I can't I just I just think egs will either be something when i'm dead or I'll just fade into nothingness and be resurrected over time through creepypastas and stuff or just the lore and word of mouth that hey, this was the guy that This guy made this series and ended up taking his own life you know, he made these recordings and Videos talking about this world And ended up killing himself thinking he was one of them and that's going to cause a whole bunch of controversy saying is he really Serious about this. Was it an act or? You know It's actually legit real I don't sugarcoat anything in my videos you know So It's a matter of time before this actually gets decent attention It'll happen Whether you like it or not this will get decent attention, especially like that massacre video the westboro high massacre That should get decent views And all it takes is word of mouth and it'll spread so I just I picture Thousands of people being in a fandom over this and spreading the lore and making their own OCs for it or envisioning themselves as maybe possibly being in the ghost squad and it just took until now to realize it, you know So I mean, I just hope I hope people make something out of this. I hope animators put time into it and Maybe make projects that I intended on making but I couldn't do because it would have taken too long, you know I just I hope embers ghost squad lives on and becomes something And it has to be embers ghost squad and you can't change what I've done It has to be how I've made it and I know that's saying a lot because I won't be here. I'll be dead I have no input on it And you just have to assume what I would be thinking I could sit here for an hour and tell you what embers ghost squad is all about and I won't do that because I think it's best to leave things open, you know Embers ghost squad obviously one of the main points of it is being who you are accepting that And not caring what people think about you another is There is something beyond your wildest imagination on the other side. It's not just a heaven where you see people You've seen throughout your life. It's a whole other world where you can end up And Some souls are brought there against their will whether they realize that or not They were destined to be there, but they don't see it that way like mackenzie You know It shows you that things go on Throughout our line of sight of what we can see as mortal humans. There are ghosts lurking around all the time Recruiting souls and you just don't see it or you're not aware of it Like people who die in mysterious ways They got recruited by ghosts or it was covered up by the recruiter ghosts You know, it was staged from the powers above people who Go missing, you know, that's a very obvious one The more you sit and the more you dissect egs the more questions you'll have And then the more answers you'll even get, you know embers ghost squad is just unique It's the most original thing I could ever imagine And It's um the content itself. I didn't do nearly as much as I intended on doing That's because I had to do it all by myself as a one-girl crew. It's just it's impossible and Embers ghost squad is just meant to appeal to everybody And it's meant to make a statement I could just sit here for hours and just talk about it But I can't do that so Some things are just better left unanswered but I the main reason I've made it is to help make a difference for people to show you that it's okay to be in this dark place And if that's what you like, then it's okay If you cut your wrists if you Try taking your life or you keep planning to take your life Do it There's nothing wrong with that Whether you realize it or not that could be in your contract and that's how you're supposed to go so It doesn't matter do whatever you want in life If you want to slash your wrists To let the pain out because the pain's so bad cut your wrists do it Just don't let people see that and I just I wouldn't want any of you to end up in a mental institution. That's That's worse than living life itself. You don't live in a mental institution You're controlled and you have no control over anything you do I'd imagine Can't say from experience because I've never been in one but Just don't get caught That's all I can say Be secretive Be clever Don't show any signs of depression around your family Don't Show your family the scars on your wrist from cutting yourself, you know Don't Just don't let them see that side of you Because that's going to make them be concerned and Depending how your family is that can lead you down a worse path and and you up in like a mental institution or something You know, I just I wouldn't want that to happen any of you because it's just That would be the worst and then you're on medication and it alters who you are and The biggest lesson in egs the biggest lesson in egs is to just be yourself and it's okay to be yourself No matter who you are. It's okay There's no laws saying you can't like this or you can't do this You can do whatever the hell you want To an extent. I mean if you want to kill somebody you can kill somebody Do it, you know If your boss is pissing you off and you want to kill him kill him So It's just There's many meanings for egs And for people who will be following in my footsteps Just be careful That's all I can say Make sure what you have on your computer is under close surveillance so nobody can See what you have in there, you know If you're on these websites looking up suicide and ways to take your life and You know Macabre and dark morbid stuff. Just be careful what you have on your computer if people use your computer regularly, you know Just be careful what you do Because there's no worse thing in the world than being caught, you know I don't want that to happen to anybody But it goes back to destiny whatever happens happens. It's meant to happen But just please be careful Okay, I want you guys to come with me. I want you to exist with me eternally in the egs but You got to be careful Especially in this day and age with social media Don't go posting on social media that you're gonna shoot somebody Don't go posting that you're gonna blow up your high school Don't go posting that you're gonna kill your family member Don't go posting stuff like that because In a flash the police can be at your door and you're taken away And all the evidence is right there online and that's really all they need and your life is Tainted for a good while and you can end up in prison and jail and cyber threats and all this stuff that you really don't want um The only way I could say post stuff like that is right before you're about to actually physically do it because then there's no way someone can stop you um Depending what you're gonna do but I mean I've been pretty Pretty uh open about what I've been attending on doing on twitter and facebook and all this and my videos for over the years But people accept it as being I guess what you'd call satire or you know, it's it's fiction. It's a show. He doesn't really mean everything He's posting or oh, he's just going through a phase or Oh, this is just the character speaking. It's not actually andrew talking, you know But in reality, I've meant everything I posted on social media I mean every single one of it. I mean it all and The beauty in it all is yeah, it's all stemming from the show. So that's a bit of a safety net for Legal things, you know, I'd be like this is just a public twitter for my character And this is what the character is like and this is what they think and You know, I would never actually end up doing anything like that. But yeah, you you just got to be careful Just use good judgment. Don't post stuff that can just have your life in jeopardy I'm sure I'll have some other videos on here with me talking to the camera like this. I highly doubt this is my last time talking to the video camera, but um That's really all I can say right now. Just use good judgment for your life Do what you think's best. Don't try to force things Just let things come naturally just be yourself you know People's opinions only matter to a certain extent. It really doesn't matter what people think of you yet We just make it out to be like the most devastating thing possible just how people feel about us or How we act or what we like and You know, it really shouldn't have to be that way, but it is and Just do your best to keep your head up You know, there's something in store for you down the road. You might not know what it is yet, but it's there It's just waiting for you to discover it. That's really what it is I mean It took me Two decades to realize what I was meant to do, you know I mean, yeah, I did youtube videos in ninth grade, but it wasn't like boom right then and there I discovered my purpose in life It carried into high school and college and young adulthood. It took a long time didn't just happen overnight So I guess I'll end this now um I just I wish I could have done so much more You know with egs. I wish I could have Made movies out of it. I wish I could have made 30 minute episodes out of it. You know, I wish it could have gotten on tv. I wish it could have been huge but With what I've done, it's just not possible to do. It's just not and I've accepted that but I've done enough with my life and I think it's time to go So I've accomplished so much throughout my youtube endeavor. I've met so many crazy and interesting people And I've made so many amazing things And now it's someone else's turn to take over So I'm gonna finish the massacre video over the summer Make some more tape videos and that will be it And embers go squad will just live on Through word of mouth pretty much. I guess I'll have no idea I might never know What becomes of it? I might know Everything that happens with it. I don't know right now but anyways Hopefully this answered some questions. I'm definitely gonna make more of these down the line while I still can it's just a lot of Stuff to upload, you know, it's a long video This is gonna be a few gigabytes. You know, it's gonna have to be compressed so anyways Thank you for watching. Thank you for supporting me Thank you for believing in me and I wish the best of you for your lives, you know And hopefully I've helped make a difference for you so This is Andrew blaze signing off until next time Have a good one